Chapter 5

A Personal Testimony

 

 

 

I have left the Prophetic Movement – this is true – only not for cold, dead, impotent Christianity. I left the Prophetic-Charismatic Movement because I believed there had to be something more, something true, something that wasn't mostly leaven and lightness, with a little bit of truth mixed in. I believed that there had to be in the heart of God a desire for a pure Bride, because I saw that in his word, but then the question was begged, “Where can this be found?” Reader, God is looking for men who will not settle for second best, half-truths, or any other lesser expression of his name and of his glory than what he has given witness to in his holy Word.

 

I say it to the praise of that blessed Name, I left the Prophetic Movement for a truly pure, powerful, holy, and sober prophetic movement! (I will speak of this more later.) Dear reader, you who have made it through the first four chapters, and have ears still to hear, you who have wandered so long upon the mountains of Bethel (the chief-seat of idolatry in Israel of old, and, ironically, of spiritual Israel today), that have looked with tear-filled eyes for the pure Bride of Christ, may I tell you, beloved, that God has his remnant! She may not make up the masses, or have the center stage of this generation's brand of Christianity, but she has the attention of her God, and all the host of heavenly creatures watch on with awe-ful anticipation to see her beautified in glory again before the end of this age!

 

When I left in 2008, I certainly reacted and lost sure footing for a time; nevertheless, for approximately a year's time the Lord strove mightily with me concerning the miraculous gifts of his Spirit. It is difficult to resist the Spirit of God when he is giving you your sermons in dreams and visions – point-by-point, text, title, and all! Make no mistake about it, I had not swerved to the point of utter Cessationism[1], but to some lesser degree of Continuationism. Thus God mercifully led on his servant and left me not an orphan in my time of trouble.

 

I believe in the gifts. Yea, I believe in them as I never before have in my entire life in God! I believe they are for today – every one of them. I believe they are so much more than mere blessings to enrich ourselves by and make our lives better places to be. I do not believe they are optional for the church today, No! I believe they are vitally necessary to the salvation of the Church in our generation. The Church of Jesus Christ will either experience a blessed spiritual Pentecost, or be plunged into a tragic spiritual Holocaust. We need the presence of God among us again, we need God to come into the camp, we need the manifestation of his right hand stretched out over his people again! “At any cost, dear Lord, by any road!” This will manifest, not in the church of God debasing themselves by behaving as barnyard animals, but in the convicting of sinners, the crushing of Pharisees, the crippling of the mighty, the comforting of the feeble and the consoling of the brokenhearted, in giving sight to the blind, a song to the prisoner, strength to the palsied, hearing to the deaf, hymns of praise to the mute, help to the helpless, hope to the hopeless – this will be life from the dead, resurrection power, perfect assurance, true holiness, purity of life, and so much more. This will not be Christianity “of course”, but “off-course”; truly, a new thing in the earth in these last days.

 

It is high time for the Church to wake up and stop doubting God. To stop holding their pretty little debates on whether the “sign” gifts are for today or not – it's a non-question! What's there to debate? How can you reason scripturally with someone who will not read their Bible?.. I confess, not all of these men are biblically illiterate, but then the scriptures were not designed to be clearly comprehended and understood by the carnal mind of man, but by the converted, humble heart of a child (see, I Cor. 2:6-16; Matt. 18:3, 4). This is the beginning of understanding the heart of God in regards to the reality and need of the manifest presence of God among his people today (i.e., the gifts). “If thou canst believe...” This is what God says to his church today. There is no question whether God is able himself, or willing...the burden of proof lies upon our shoulders.

 

 

 

Why I Left the Prophetic Movement

 

“I will allow the fake in the room, because I so believe in the genuine... Most places that I've been the majority of the

manifestations are not caused by the Holy Spirit.”

-Mike Bickle

 

Just a little deductive reasoning and you find the fearful conclusion of this statement. According to Mike Bickle, the larger part is false, the lesser part is true; thus the greater part of these congregations are either faking manifestations in the flesh, or worse: they really are spiritual manifestations, though not the Holy Spirit of God.

 

This is alarming.

 

Any sober-minded individual with the Spirit of God can see that there is something wrong with this picture. The question is not, “Can you see that something is wrong here,” but, “Will you do something about it?” God help us. “Your glorying is not good. Know ye not that a little leaven leaveneth the whole lump?” (I Cor. 5:6). There is an urgent need for purity in the house of God in our day. This is not unique to our time, but was that which so much preoccupied the minds and motions of the prophets of old…I am convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that the purity of God's house is the number one element that keeps back revival from the people of God in this generation – but, O! what a high price to pay...

 

This is what I came to see in 2007-‘08. And with a clear sight of the pervading leaven in my modern church, I stood with all of my heart upon the truths that I had been convinced of through God's word, knowing of whom I had been taught. This was not easy, and had it not been for years of preparation and prophecies going before upon me (see, I Tim. 1:18, 19), I don't suspect I would have stood when push came to shove.

 

 

 

Background

 

I desire to go back to the year 2005 and detail by many prophetic instances how the Lord led me out of what is known as the Prophetic-Charismatic Movement.

 

O! how I wish I had had someone to teach me the ways of God in truth and not merely after the precept of man. I would have been saved from much backsliding and compromise which some from my youth know all too well. O how I have wept and lamented this sad fact before God for years! Truly, I feel myself a debtor to you all who raised me as a child, clothed me, and fed me at your tables – more times than I can number! How I long to repay you, to sit you at my table now, and feed you with the riches and wealth that God hath given me! Joseph was a long time separate from his brethren, and he who was poorest before became exceedingly rich in the latter end.

 

It was in January of 2005 that (I am persuaded) I was regenerated by the miraculous power of an ever-merciful God. I was then attending a non-denominational church in Dallas, TX, Lake Highlands (which, ironically, many years prior – long before I had anything to do with church – had been a Church of Christ [denomination]), which believed in the gifts and was very focused on discipleship and true community. This is where I first experienced charismatic worship, healing, manifestations, casting out of demons, tongues, and all other elements included in the Charismatic Movement. Like I said earlier, I had never (to my recollection) heard the gospel preached in the power of God, and thus I never knew it, and thus was never saved. I was in the worship band though, and was a small group leader, and was respected by not a few.

 

Somehow, in the sovereign grace of God, in the year prior, I had come across a few audio compilations of old (mostly deceased) preachers and began to listen to these tracks obsessively. In these I was hearing what I had never before heard, and O! how sweetly washed the waves of gospel light over my parched soul! I cannot say that I was regenerated at this time by any means, for the fruits of the flesh were all, sadly, still stacked against me. Nevertheless, it is hard to describe the burning of soul that God imparted to me in those days to see revival in this generation among my peers and those I knew and loved. As far as I can tell, this was the beginning of the call of God in my life to preach, though at this time there was so much obscurity to the meaning of these things in my own heart, not only for a lack of clear revelation from God, but, moreover, a void of personal experience. I had never seen or heard, in living witness, the power of God displayed in the preaching of the word of God – without all of the show and gimmicks of the church all around me.

 

I also read, for the first time, “Sinners In The Hands Of An Angry God”, by Jonathan Edwards, which shook me to the core of my heart and caused me (before I even knew what was happening) to examine myself in light of the written word of God. “Say unto God, How terrible art thou in thy works! through the greatness of thy power shall thine enemies submit themselves unto thee” (Psa. 66:3).

 

The following year was when the conversion took place. The Lord had been, systematically, dissolving my false confidences and form of godliness, till, by this time I had been shattered, terrified, confused, and troubled for the estate of my soul before God. I had no concept at this time that a man could be truly lost, though he believed himself sincerely saved…I was just troubled. I had no boldness to share the gospel (that which my soul, naturally, should have been burning to share); I had no grace and true liberty to seek the Lord and would often fall asleep when I had meant to pray or read the scriptures. I was certainly held fast by nature's chain, and had no way of escape. Till, according to God's great mercy he spoke the word and ended the course of sin I was running headlong down.

 

 

My Conversion and Call to Preach

 

At the end of the days of the judges, the Lord was uttering dark and evil sayings against the house of Eli and the present-day priesthood of that generation, but never would the judgment of the Lord be so clarified as in the prophesyings of the boy Samuel. What a word the Lord put in that little ear! The one who prophesied to the barren womb of his mother – his own spiritual father – was going to be judged forever before the Lord! Truly, “Your children shall be your judges” (Matt. 12:27).

 

As Eli was the earthly instrument that God ordained to use in the calling forth of the prophet Samuel, so it was that God chose a Kansas City prophet to call a chosen vessel forth.

 

It was Sunday, January 16^th, 2005. I went to church that morning and the speaker that had been called on for the men's retreat that weekend was present that Sunday to preach before the church. At this point our church's affiliation with IHOP-KC (International House of Prayer, Kansas City) was almost nothing. The speaker that morning was a man named Eddie Boasso (then on staff with IHOP-KC). At the end of a short time of prayer, everyone was seated and Eddie approached the pulpit. Before he began the sermon, he said that he had something the Lord had given him and felt it necessary to share before he continued.

 

He pointed at me and said, “Stand up.” I stood with a trembling soul in the midst of approximately 300 people as Eddie began to speak two things that he believed the Lord had showed him: 1^st) he said he saw the Bible being given to me, and that as I searched the scriptures I would find things that most don't see and they would lodge into my heart like little arrows, 2^nd) he said he believed the Lord was calling me to be a voice to the nations - he didn't know where or when, but he believed that the Lord was going to open a door to teach and to preach.

 

That was it. I didn't feel anything extraordinary, and, strangely, I was seemingly unaffected by the word. To me in my unconverted estate this was a logical impossibility, for the word of God was a dark book to me and I had no power whatsoever to even speak before my peers in compulsory speech classes. Literally, I can remember my paper popping between my hands for nerves while trying to deliver a speech in class the year prior.

 

But it remains indelibly graven upon the table of my heart how that afternoon a childlike faith, never before experienced, entered into my soul and I was compelled by the wind of the Spirit to enter into my closet to meet with God. Thus upon bended knee I opened the Book and the words of God found place in my weary soul and enlightened my darkness! Literally hours passed while I was being saturated by every word of God. I found that the more I read, the more I prayed, and the more I prayed, the more I read!

 

And so it was every day till Wednesday, when, instead of going home after school, I went straight up to the church to practice for that night with the worship team. That evening after we ended our set, I took my seat and my youth pastor, Donny Martin, stepped to the pulpit. I'll never forget how he spoke to the youth group that night of the previous Sunday and how Eddie prophesied over me that God was giving me the Bible and calling me to preach, and then without any forewarning, he told the youth group of 50-75 youth that he had prepared a sermon to preach that night, but he did not believe that he was the one that was to preach that night...he looked at me and said that he believed I was the one to preach. Immediately my heart rate shot through the roof and I began to lose all of the moisture in my mouth and shake. Due to much personal experience, this was the only reaction I could have expected. Nevertheless, without preparation, he told me to grab my Bible and come to the front. I then experienced, as in a moment, the first remarkable miracle I would ever taste as a Christian. As the lepers went to show themselves to the priest and as they went they were cleansed, so I, as I simply obeyed the call that night and stepped up to preach, perceived that all of my overwhelming, undeniable anxiety dissipated as quickly as it came on, and I preached with the Holy Ghost helping for the first time! Glory to his holy name!

 

 

 

The Prophecies

 

“And the LORD appeared again in Shiloh:

for the LORD revealed himself to Samuel in Shiloh

by the word of the LORD.”

I Samuel 3:21

 

This notable beginning thrust me into the presence of God like never before. I sought the Lord when he saved me that day in the closet with reckless abandon, but this holy desperation was still yet higher in pitch, when the calling was realized. In this path I continued for a little time.

 

A month later, I went to a missions conference (World Mandate) two hours south with a group from church. Something of great prophetic significance happened to me during this weekend. As sudden and impressively subtle it must have been for Samson when “the Spirit of the LORD began to move him at times in the camp of Dan,” it was when the Lord began to move upon me when first filled with his Holy Spirit. The second night of the conference we went to the local coffee shop. The shop was truly packed to capacity, and my heart was as full of burden as the place was full of souls. After a short time, I took the five friends I had entered with out to the side deck to speak privately with them at one of the picnic tables then set there. I do not remember my exhortation to them that night; I only recall opening my Bible to the book of Acts and pouring out my heart. It must have been effectual, for afterwards we all entered back into the shop with resolve to reach that place for Christ. I remember a force being in my words that I cannot remember ever being there before. Though I was young in the Lord, I know that the Holy Ghost was present there that night.

 

There was a point, after reasoning with many souls of the preciousness of Jesus Christ and the reasonability of being absolutely surrendered to his holy claims on our lives, when the glory of God came in a most remarkable way. I moved into the center of the room and the sense of God's presence was so heavy that I could not forbear any longer from praying (softly at first) in the main room, but “as I mused the fires burned”, and before I knew it there was a commotion in the room where I was praying. I opened my eyes and saw that everyone was now rushing into the room where I was praying. My friend was also just then setting up to play his guitar on the movable stage to the crowd that was gathering. At this point there was a division among the people; thus I approached the counter where the baristas were and began pleading with them with much grace and unction. It will never leave my memory what one of the women said to me when I was preaching to them. She stopped me and said, “I am a Christian, and this is not attractive to me!” To my everlasting confusion I cannot understand what about revival could be so undesirable to a Christian! Shortly thereafter, my five friends and I, with a group of about 20-30 others, were asked to leave the shop. The next couple of hours were spent in worship to the Lord in the median in front till about midnight.

 

This was significant to me for many reasons. The Lord was showing me at that time, and for years after, that that these are the implications of my ministry as it relates to a world that has become “Christian”. It is a conflict waiting to happen. It's like dynamite in a candle store. I believe the Lord was putting my feet in the water, as it were, that I would be granted a sense of the things that awaited me as I fulfill the holy mission God had just given me. Also, what would follow after this was to be my first experience of the demonic resistance that was awaiting me in the conflict with lukewarm Christianity.

 

After that night of the coffee house incident, we arrived at a friend's apartment we were staying at. I excitedly told one of the young men there (who had formerly discipled me) and was soon deflated by his silence which communicated much of his disapproval at what we had done. This carried over into the following week when my youth pastor (whom I spoke of formerly) reproved me for my youthful zeal. I didn't know exactly how to receive it; I was so young, and knew so little regarding how I am to relate to the work of the Holy Ghost in me, and of course was greatly deficient in understanding how I was expected by God to relate to my teachers, being in a backslidden generation. Thus upon the reproof of my pastor, I yielded myself to him and endeavored to never do it again, though in my soul I felt that something was not quite right. And so it was, that after only approximately a month of walking with God, I was compelled to cool down.

 

Though I did not all at once backslide, I yet believe this was one of the last mile-markers I clearly saw before I veered off in the wrong direction and got lost for a couple of years. For about the next ten months, I would have many meetings with God, but they would wane more and more from this point till the end of the year 2005. As I did not fully perceive the workings of the Spirit of God in my soul at the beginning and how he was leading me on, so I did not fully comprehend nor did I know how to interpret things when I perceived the Holy Ghost withdrawing his sweet influences from off of my soul.

 

The first word of the Lord that I can say ever “came to me” (see, Jeremiah 1) was in the following month, March, 2005. I had been reading of the beginning of the prophetic anointing of Ezekiel one night and then fell asleep after having made my prayers to God that he would call me to himself as he did Ezekiel...I confess that I did not know altogether what I was asking of the Lord.

 

I can say that it was the furthest thing in my mind at the time to fully make the connection of what this would be like in my day, nor even that this generation could similarly be as the rebellious house of Israel then was in the heart of God. These thoughts were very foreign to me though I was much more versed in the prophets than ever I had been before.

 

Like I said, I fell asleep after having read this and was astonished by what my eyes saw. In the visions of the night, I saw the most troubling thing. I beheld myself standing in the midst of the congregation at my church, I had my hand outstretched against the pastor of the church (which at the time I very much reverenced), I was preaching against him with much fear and boldness in the Spirit. I awoke in the night after having had this dream and remembered the passages I had just been reading before I had fallen asleep. I, trembling, wrote in the margin of my Bible, by Ezekiel chapter two, “Dream of Jim R. 3/5/05”.

 

Though I was of such a limited understanding in the ways of God in judgment, yet I knew that somehow this dream was related to my calling and it all was in some way connected to the calling of Ezekiel. This would take a couple more years to fully realize. But this call nonetheless was coming forth to my soul in the midst of much darkness, and over the following years of wandering throughout the wilderness of sin, the remembrance of such things would often stir my heart afresh, and I found the health of my soul to be directly related to my acknowledgment of these spiritual realities that God had given and called me to at the beginning of my walk with him. “This charge I commit unto thee, son Timothy, according to the prophecies which went before on thee, that thou by them mightest war a good warfare” (I Tim. 1:18).

 

 

 

Backsliding and Restoration

 

My heart grieves as I remember my great folly during (and especially in) the next two years (’06-’07). Truly, it has been to the loathing of myself, that I recall the great pain and sorrow I caused some during this time. It was truly a sad declension from the glory I experienced at the first, and I was made to come face to face with the reality of “losing my first love”. O what anguish of soul I passed through in being pulled forth in the early part of ’08 from the horrible pit into which I had fallen - I suppose nobody knows but Jesus.

 

To the praise of his great name, I can say that I was indeed brought forth from that terrible time with a song in my heart and a renewed fear of God for this so great salvation, of which I had, at the first, and then again, been made the unworthy and glad beneficiary of! O bless the Lord, O my soul! Truly, I was brought to rock-bottom all over again, and the Lord re-preached his glorious gospel of free grace to my sad soul, and within six months, I was restored to the former glory that I had seen at conversion (and more!) through it all.

 

“And Hilkiah the high priest said unto Shaphan the scribe,

I have found the book of the law in the house of the LORD.

And Hilkiah gave the book to Shaphan, and he read it.”

II Kings 22:8

 

Though I wasn’t fully restored yet, I would mark the end of ’07 as the moment where I found the book of the law. Not only did I, in the profoundest of ways, rediscover and reestablish myself upon the word of God as the immutable, infallible, inerrant foundation of all things (and, O how did my soul delight therein more than in all riches!), but I also discovered certain quintessential truths of the scriptures that to me had been sealed up since I had first savingly believed upon Christ.

 

I discovered the law, and my soul was in awe of what I had found. It was as though all of my questions had been answered. Within a matter of a couple of months, some of the most fundamental errors were reproved and refuted, and God graciously left in their place the knowledge of God. This, I am convinced, was the reason why I was reestablished in the grace of God months later. “You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free” (John 8:32).

 

“For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout

the whole earth, to shew himself strong in the behalf of them

whose heart is perfect toward him.”

II Chron. 16:9

 

Through all of this, God began to graciously revisit me again in the most glorious ways, and I vowed to the Lord at that time, that I would compromise no more, I would devote my life to preach his gospel, I would seek not my own name, church, ministry, or any other such vanity, but would sell myself out to his cause and his truth – come what may. I believed and was persuaded in the heart of my soul that God’s eyes were not walking, nor casually strolling through this all but God-forsaken world today – NO! – but that his eyes were running to and fro, seeking A MAN! I vowed to God that I would be that man at any cost, trusting that the Lord would give me what only he could…a perfect heart.

 

 

 

My Exodus

 

What followed the rest of the year 2008 was the most heart-rending experience that I (up until that time) had ever gone through as a Christian. I would be ostracized from every Christian I had ever known and loved, I would be set up and dealt with subtly on multiple occasions, reproved for righteousness’ sake, thought evil of without cause, and finally excommunicated from a church that didn’t even practice such church discipline!

 

One last prophecy that I must mention concerning my exodus from the Prophetic Movement, was most impressive to me. It was during the spring break of ‘08. I had separated myself in fasting and prayer in the woods for five days with the intent to neither see nor speak to any man but Christ. It is easy to say, it was one of the most profound seasons of my life in God. The second night I had a dream wherein I was in a house signifying false Christianity. I was drawn into the living room where I found Leonard Ravenhill standing looking over a large map stretched across the living room floor. He was bedraggled and distressed in appearance, and looked as if he had been up for days. I went and stood beside him, and with relief he told me that he discovered what he had been troubled over. He began to point to the map (which was the footprint of the sleeping bag I was then in); as he would point a red line would be drawn. He charted from the right to left a small mountain, followed by a valley breaking forth with streams of living waters, followed by another greater mountain, at which point the map ended and he raised his hand from the map on the ground and pointed to the open door of the house, over the threshold of which I beheld a pulpit. Thus the dream ended.

 

The meaning of this to me became very clear, but in order for you to understand, you must realize something about Ravenhill. He spent his entire ministry within the system of Pentecostal Christianity, and yet he mourned deeply over the great sins he saw therein. It would be an understatement to say that he devoted his ministry to seeing the sinking ship of the then Charismatic Movement recovered. He would rebuke and utterly upbraid at times the sins and behavior of that which passed for Christianity. He had prophetic words and hope along the way, but, nevertheless, he died and never saw the revival he had hoped for.

 

This is where we were in the dream: false Christianity. This is what was troubling him: how to recover this sinking ship. In the end he discovered what he had been searching so diligently for: it was getting outside of the house; crossing the threshold. The dream would actually spiritually chart out the entire year of ’08 for me. The “smaller mountain” was the glory of God I was then to see during those five days; the “valley with streams of living waters breaking forth” was the tragic year I would experience and the glory that would accompany therein; the “greater mountain” was to be the greatest glory I would ever behold (up until that time) in one single moment that Fall, approximately a month before I would be excommunicated (i.e., crossing the threshold).

 

This was what I would discover to be the secret: leaving false Christianity, and thus gaining a place in the Spirit whereby to effectually plead for the souls within the house. This is what Ravenhill never did, and though he is dead, he yet speaketh! It was truly the preaching that I heard of him all along the way (and after the excommunication) that strengthened me to stand fast when I was most tempted to fold and compromise…and, in the end, to cross the threshold.

 

I believe one of the best things a man or woman could do who finds themselves in the Prophetic-Charismatic Pentecostal Movement, and presently able to relate to somewhat of the things which I paid so dearly to behold, would be to take a weekend with the word of God and saturate their soul in Ravenhill. Hear his burden, which most assuredly was – and is – in the heart of God. Fast and pray, and read “Why Revival Tarries”, and then weep. O may God answer this poor man’s prayer and open your ears to hear what his Spirit is speaking!

 

Truly, the stories I could tell of that year remain some of the strangest and peculiar that I have ever experienced. I was a leader then and was also in the church’s discipleship school; nevertheless, I was often treated as though I committed a crime when I had only sought to lead someone to Christ!

 

I was amazed to behold the sovereign hand of God, ordering all things for me. Truly, he left me not comfortless. I would be amazed over the course of this most grievous year, how the Lord would move upon ones within the church, and multiple times even upon leaders themselves, to give me a word in due season that would strengthen my heart in times of need! One instance I recall was one morning that Fall, during class (at the discipleship school), a leader of many years’ standing came to me with a word (knowing nothing of the trials I was going through due to the conflicts I was having with the leadership over the truths the Holy Spirit had been revealing to me). He began to share with me from Jeremiah 1, “Thou therefore gird up thy loins, and arise, and speak unto them all that I command thee: be not dismayed at their faces, lest I confound thee before them. For, behold, I have made thee this day a defenced city, and an iron pillar, and brasen walls against the whole land, against the kings of Judah, against the princes thereof, against the priests thereof, and against the people of the land. And they shall fight against thee; but they shall not prevail against thee; for I am with thee, saith the Lord, to deliver thee” (1:17-19).

 

I was astonished! The Lord was pleased to use men and women as his mouthpiece though I was surrounded by those who only should have spoken to me smooth and easy things!.. My reader, if you have a perfect heart, and are truly willing to do his will (whatever that may entail), then he will speak to you too…I believe he is now.

 

The greatest areas of strife between me and the leadership of Antioch Community Church during that year were: 1) Open-air preaching on the college campuses in Waco, 2) Preaching on hell, wrath, and the judgment to come, and, 3) Calling people’s conversions into question. Now, I must clearly state immediately, though I had only just begun preaching in the open air, yet I was not (in the slightest) inclined to the style of such men as Morrell, Israel, Smock, Westboro Baptist, etc. I did not, nor do I presently, believe that these men are even saved! I was following the explicit and undeniable call of God, only after much prayer and fasting. I did not feel at all sufficient of such an undertaking of myself, and knew that if I had not the Spirit of Christ and the love of God saturating my every word, tone, and behavior, then I was endangering my own soul and those also which heard me! I took this very seriously, and thus I sought the Lord for a clear call for months before I ever ventured upon this course.

 

I must also say that hell, wrath, and judgment were not the principal objects of my preaching, but Christ! I felt that I could not preach “Christ and him crucified” (see, I Cor. 2:2) aright without preaching these tragic, yet unavoidable truths. How can a man preach of the cross without preaching of hell, for is the quintessence found in a better place in all of scripture, than when the Son of God himself became sin for us, and uttered that awful cry, which is the very dread terror and woe of hell itself, “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?” (that is to say, “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” Matt. 27:46). How can a man preach the cross of the Lord Jesus and not mention judgment, wrath, and hell? I felt that I would be preaching a half truth, a fake cross, a crucifixion of Jesus that cannot be found in the scriptures! O how this broke my heart! I tell you the truth, I never knew of one of the pastors, lifegroup leaders, etc. that ever came out to hear me or my fellows preach the gospel! Where is the righteous judgment! “Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment” (John 7:24).

 

As for “calling people’s conversions into question”, I cannot deny that I desired to know people’s testimonies, and if they professed faith in Christ, and yet were void of the fruits of the Spirit, and yet abounding in the fruits of the flesh, then I most certainly, in love, would call their testimony into question. Not based upon my own standard of what salvation is, but based upon the unalterable and indisputable testimony of scripture. To me it would have been next to murder to not seek the soul of someone that I found in such an uncertain place. I believe anyone who has truly been converted after years of being a hypocrite bound in the thrall of false Christianity will understand the burden that I speak of.

 

It is not enough to know how to prophesy, cast out devils, or heal the sick…if you cannot lead a soul to Christ, and bring them (soundly) from death to life, by way of the strait-gate, then what is it all worth? There are healers, exorcists, and prophets in all major world religions, but only by the reception of the Holy Spirit of God can a man be utterly set free and saved from his life of sin and wickedness! This is not secondary; this is the absolute need of the hour. How does a man know that he is born of God? “He that winneth souls is wise” (Prov. 11:30).

 

The Lord bears me witness: I did not leave willingly. It was the hardest thing for me to do, and truly, my heart and affections still yearn for many that I remember from those former days! There was hardly a time in the last six months before I was excommunicated that I did not nearly have a heart attack every time I entered into my prayer closet. My heart was then, and is presently, broken for these my kinsmen!

 

I was sent away by my brethren, and so was Joseph. Joseph did not initially understand what it all meant, or how his dreams would be fulfilled, nor did I. As it was then, so it is now, and I believe God has plans to “save many alive” (see, Gen. 50:20) among the ranks of the Prophetic-Charismatic Movement. O Lord, let now thy servant see thy salvation!

 

I believe the Lord is calling many out from among them, that they may live and die to see the glory of the New Testament Church restored...without all of the leaven of false Christianity! Without all of the fleshly and demonic manifestations, masquerading as the Spirit of God! Without the convoluted and muddied waters of preaching which is less than the pure gospel truth of the Apostles’ doctrine!

 

Dear reader, can you hear his call?

 

I know that the Lord has sent me before, that many might be saved through a faithful testimony against the heresy and hypocrisy which prevails on every side of this movement. It is my pleasure to suffer without the camp, even as Christ, that some within might thereby be saved.

 

O that God the Spirit would open your eyes this night!